Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
