Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
