I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
