Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
