And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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