a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
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