I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
