If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
