so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
