How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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