I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
