i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
jump out the window naked night went bad
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
