Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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