I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
