I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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