i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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