Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
