I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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