I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
