I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
