Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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