So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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