Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize