No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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