dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
