His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
