I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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