he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
