So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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