I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
