haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
