This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
