please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
