I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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