it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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