Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so let's talk penis.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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