Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
