the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Two words: blizzard sex
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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