Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
