I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
