The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
