So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
