I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
