I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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