Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
