'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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