Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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