I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
