Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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