I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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