who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
