I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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