i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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