Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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